If you don't like reading, just stop now and watch this film. It really is that good.
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The following is a reproduction of a review I originally wrote on another forum sometime in 2020.

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I'm endlessly fascinated with propaganda, especially as it occurs in the form of entertainment. So I regularly look for shows and movies to analyze and dissect. And lemme tell you, every so often, you come across a hidden gem. This movie is one of them.

If you don't like reading, just stop now and watch this film. It really is that good.

For everyone else, I offer my review.
Official Synopsis
In the prehistoric past, a young man struggles to return home after being separated from his tribe during a buffalo hunt. He finds a similarly lost wolf companion and starts a friendship that would change humanity.
The Review (No Spoilers)
After watching countless movies and shows from the "modern" era, this film is a breath of fresh air. As far as I can tell, no n___s or (((__))) were involved in its production -- that alone should tell you everything you need to know.

Surprisingly, on the IMDb cast page, Morgan Freeman is credited as a "Narrator." Don't let that fool you, I've reviewed the film's credits and confirmed it's false. Also, the entire film has zero narration. Indeed, it actually has very little dialogue.

The film is set during Europe's last Ice Age, 20,000 years ago. We follow the journey of Keda, the teenaged son of his tribe's Chieftain. In order to survive, the tribe must regularly hunt bison, all while braving hazardous lands full of predators. A sincere, good-hearted young man, Keda is gentle to a fault, but eager to follow in his father's footsteps, weak though his hunting and survival skills may be.

When a hunt goes tragically wrong, Keda becomes separated from his tribe. Alone, injured, short on resources and faced with a treacherous environment, Keda must do everything he can to survive the trek home... and become his own man along the way.

Contrary to what the trailers indicate, the entire film is set in "Soldean," a fictional language that took two years to create for the occasion. It is based on Proto-Nostratic, Proto-Eurasiatic and Proto-Denรฉโ€“Caucasian languages.

The film's characters are believable, well-acted and sympathetic. With much of the film focusing on just two characters, monotony is avoided by featuring breathtaking shots (some real and others CGI) of expansive landscapes, sweeping horizons, starry skies and erupting volcanoes.

Perhaps the biggest treat of this film is that there's no k__ propaganda, even though there could've easily been. There could've been a "muh climate change" message. There could've been a "muh toxic masculinity" message. There could've been a "muh aminal creulty" message. However, cooler heads must've prevailed because the film eschews all of that for a wholesome, heart-warming story.

It's extremely rare for me to deem any movie perfect and give it a 10 out of 10, but this is as close as it gets in the modern age. And in other sections below, I'll explain why.
Notable Elements (Spoilers!!)

  • There were many opportunities to write the various characters in a judaised way, but thankfully they do not. The men are men, women are women, and in a world where cooperation is key to survival, we see plenty of friendly camaraderie and brotherhood, but not in any sappy sense of the word.
  • One of the most (possibly unintentionally) hilarious moments takes place when Keda establishes his dominance -- by b**ch-slapping Alpha.ย It gave me a hearty chuckle (and probably offended sensitive pansies in the audience).
  • The "path" toย ย was very well written, with plenty of back-and-forth dynamic. There's no "cheating" by way of cringe montages, nor is there any singular cliched "moment" where something happens and heyyy, everyone's the best of friends. The relationship develops slowly and naturally.
  • I greatly enjoyed the way the Chieftain was written and portrayed. He is obviously a strong leader, but with none of your stereotypical machismo that Hollywood loves to shoehorn in. He is understanding and gentle with his son.
  • Elements of "backstory" are gracefully portrayed without awkward exposition. For instance, the massive rock towers that were built by other tribes hundreds of years ago to guide other tribes. The existing friendships between cooperating tribes. It enriches the story without distraction.
  • There are a few "oh no" moments, where you might think the film is about to be (((__)))-ed. Don't worry, those moments never come. This film has zero bait-and-switch moments.
  • The character of Alpha (who turns out to be female) was played by a single, very talented Czech wolf-dog named "Chuck." In other words, they didn't get a bunch of dogs to swap in and out, everything was done by one extremely intelligent pooch.

Why the Perfect Rating?
Currently,ย Alphaย sits on (((IMDb))) with a miserably non-representative 6.7 stars out of 10. When I saw this, I immediately set out to find out why.

The film was released in 2018 after being delayed for a full year (gee I wonder why). It spent a month in theaters before being shoved to home video (gee I wonder why). Oh, maybe it was because no one liked it -- hardly. The film made nearly $100M at the box office on a $51M budget.

The user reviews are very telling. Tons of 9 and 10 star reviews, peppered with (((susp*cious))) reviews. What were the reasons for this? The most ridiculous nitpicky sh*t you can think of. The biggest gripe was that it wasn't an "accurate" portrayal of the time. Oh really? What about the other countless movies and shows that are critically acclaimed for depicting n___s as Romans? Or declaring that MUH STRONK WAHMEN actually made some historic achievement possible? These reviewers might as well come right out and say why they gave the movie a low rating -- there weren't enough lesbian n____ midgets in it.

Animal activists also kvetched at this film. Why? Because as part of production, the crew hired a jerky company to humanely dispatch five bison for a scene. Cry me a f**king river.

Perhaps if there were a wider selection of movies that didn't insert n___s, trannies, marxism and "muh brave white (((__)))" in at every turn, this movie might get dinged a star or two (some of the CGI was a bit iffy). But there aren't, and as far as I'm concerned, the fact that this movie ever made it to release in such a k__-ed world is nothing short of a miracle. And so, for holding true to the story's values and wise casting choices, I myself have little choice but to award it a perfect ten.

May 23rd 2022
This review was posted from the United States or from a VPN in the United States.
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